NICKNAMES

When I go to the gym I watch people. I think the gym attract special types, in particular people with obsessive natures. Because these people are a bit different to the norm I tend to watch them more and I give them nicknames. Only my girls know about the nicknames.

There is Ginger Megs, a lady with ginger hair - possibly the most obsessive person at that gym, this lady goes to the gym for up to 5 hours a day! First its cardio, followed by a class followed by weights then she goes home only to come back in the evening to do it all over again. I want to tell her about Body for Life but I know she wouldn't listen. As I said she's obsessive. We have a Smiling Man who smiles like a Cheshire cat when he is straining with weights. His teeth are brilliant white and I have a feeling his teeth are capped. There is Tattoo Boy who my girls oggle every time they see him. We have Pony Girl who gets on the treadmill and runs with her knees high like she is cantering. She also has a long blonde ponytail that she swings from side to side. Skanky Girl, no need to elaborate on this one, though I do wish she would cover those breasts, they're like missiles about to be launched. Finally there are the Munchkin People. They are my favourite, a married couple in their late 60's both only about 5'3 tall. I like Munchkin Man (Russell) He is full of vitality and is incredibly inquisitive (my kids say nosey). He is very friendly and has told me his life's story, he has also told me all about everyone else's life story in the gym 'cause he talks to everyone and being truly interested in them makes people open up to him.

If I was to give myself a name, right now it would be Limpy Lady. I don't think that I am so interesting as to get a nickname. Maybe it would be Mother Hen because I always have at least one daughter working out with me when I go to the gym but I'm sure my whole family would say it's Bossy Boots.

What nickname do you think I would give you if I saw you down at my gym?